Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first."
"Fantastic," Mary replied. "I'll come with you."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Bankers
What is the difference between a banker and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Irish
Irish stew in the name of the law.
Abbreviated
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Horses
My mum said to my uncle, 'What's got four legs and flies?'
My uncle said, 'Don't tell me, the horse is dead.'
Light Bulbs
How many Labour Party members does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They haven't got a policy on that.
Basketball
Why did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it.
Vampires
Where do vampires keep their savings?
In the blood bank.
Vampires
Why was the vampire sent to jail?
He tried to rob the local blood bank!
Crab
"Waiter, do you serve crabs?"
"Sit down, sir. We serve anybody."