Joke Topic - 'Calculator'

What happens if a chimp falls and twists his ankle?
He gets a monkey wrench.

When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.

Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
Because he kept buttering up the teacher.

Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
He was a millionhare.

Why do ghost like to go shopping when the stores are having sales?
Because they like to go bargain haunting.

Yo' momma's so fat, the local police force hired her to be a roadblock!

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

What do you get if you cross a hunting dog and a telephone?
A golden receiver.