Joke Topic - 'Crossed'

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?

Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.

I went on vacation last week. What a week it was. Only rained twice - once for three days, once for four.

Why do ghost like to go shopping when the stores are having sales?
Because they like to go bargain haunting.

I'm so overweight I tried dieting - but the only thing I lost was my temper!

What kind of money do snowmen use?
Iced lolly.

Why did the chicken go red?
She was henbarrassed.

What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?
Fill me in when you get back.