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Joke Topic - 'Dead'

Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'Dead'.


'Hi Bob, Where have you been?'
'The cemetery.'
'Oh! Who's dead?'
'They all are.'

'Oh, Nigel, I hear you buried you mother-in-law last week.' 'Had to... she was dead.'

Ten year old's response to question, 'When dead, what do you want to be remembered for?': `Ever.'

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick stops draining you and drops off after you're dead.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



Why a man would want to marry one woman is a mystery
Marrying two is a bigamystery.

James Bond

Who was the first underwater spy?
James Pond.

Light Bulbs

How many Oliver Norths does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How can he? He sold all the light bulbs to Iran.


What should you give a seasick elephant?
A lot of room...

A Thought

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.


Did you hear about the famous inventors who failed to invent the aeroplane?
They were the Wrong Brothers.


I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.


Q: What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?
A: Decalfinated


Why did the cucumber hire a lawyer?
Because it was in a pickle.

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