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Joke Topic - 'Ducks'


Here are 20 jokes on the topic - 'Ducks'.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, have you got any bread? The bartender replies no, we only sell beer here, so the ducks walks out. He walks in the next day and says to the bartender, have you got any bread? The bartender says, I told you yesterday, we only sell beer, so the ducks walks out. He walks back in the next day and says to the bartender, got any bread? the bartender says, if u come in here tomorrow asking for bread I'll nail your beak to the bar, so the duck walks out. He walks in the next day and says to the bartender, got any nails? No he says, got any bread?
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A duck walks into bar,
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: no...
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: NOOOOO!!!!!
Duck: got any bread?
Bartender: If you ask that one more time I'm going to nail your bill to the counter.
Duck: got any nails?
Bartender: NO
Duck: got any bread?
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Did you hear that the price of duck feathers has risen?
So now even down is up.
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Diner: Do you have any wild duck?
Waiter: No, sir, but we could take a contented one and irritate it for you.
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How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't: you get down from a duck!
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If a farmer has two eggs for breakfast every morning, but he doesn't own any chickens and he doesn't get them from anyone else, where do the eggs come from?
From his ducks.
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What do you call a box of ducklings?
A box of quackers.
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What do you call a cat who ate a duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-puss.
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What do you call a duck that wears a mask and steals money from banks?
A robber duckie.
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What do you call a man with a duck on his head?
Donald.

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