Joke Topic - 'Entertainment'

DINER: Waiter, there's no chicken in this chicken pie.
WAITER: There are no shepherds in the shepherd's pie, either, sir.

Did you hear about the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite.

Why do rabbits have shiny noses?
Because their powder puffs are at the wrong end!

What do you call a crazy spaceman?
An astronut.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards.
Just sit there and I'll deal with you in a minute.

Every dog has its day, only a dog with a broken tail has a weak-end.

Why was it easy for the king to draw straight lines
Because he was the ruler.

I'm watching my drinking, so now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls.

What item is usually bought by the metre, yet is worn by the foot?
A carpet.