Joke Topic - 'Fail'

What do you call a prisoner's pet budgie?
A jail bird.

What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a dog?
An animal that likes to chase low flying aeroplanes.

What has ten legs, bulging eyes and is green and slimy?
I don't know.
Neither do I - but there's one crawling up your leg now!

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
"I wish you a furry merry Christmas and a Happy mew year".

What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance.

If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up.

How many WAITERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
None. Even a burned-out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
.
Alf who?
Alf feed the dog while you're away on vacation!

Do you know me?
Yes, of course I know you.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I thought you knew me!