Joke Topic - 'Football'

A famous footballer went to Heaven and was met by St Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Who are you?' asked the saint.
'What did you do on earth?'
'I was a footballer.'
'Oh, and where are your boots?'
'I left them on earth.'
'Well, hurry back and get them - we're playing a match against Hell tonight.'

Billy: I can't believe I just missed that open goal. I could kick myself.
Johnny: Don't: bother, you'd probably miss.

Customer: Do you sell football boots?
Store Assistant: Sure. What size is your football?

Did you hear about the baby ghost who applied to join the football team?
He heard the manager say that they were in need of a little team spirit.

Did you hear about the new Scottish football team whose players don't know each other?
They're called Glasgow Strangers.

Football is only a game - until your team loses.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Money.
Money who?
Money is stiff, I hurt it playing football.

What breed of dog would you want on your American football team?
A golden receiver.

What do they use to serve lunch to football players?
The Soup—er Bowl.

What is a football supporter's favourite Christmas song?
Yule never walk alone.