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Joke Topic - 'Goldfish'


Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Goldfish'.

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If you have a referee in soccer, and an umpire in cricket, what do you have in bowls?
Goldfish
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My brother was in this restaurant. He said, 'Excuse me waiter, but I don't like the look of this cod.'
The waiter said, I'm sorry sir. if I'd known it was looks you were after I'd have got you a goldfish.'
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Wee Hughie was in the garden filling in a hole when his English neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the mad man was up to, he politely asked, 'What are you doing there, Hughie?'
'My goldfish died,' replied Wee Hughie tearfully without looking up, 'and I've just buried him.'
The English neighbour was very concerned. 'That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?'
Wee Hughie patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, 'That's because he's inside your cat.'


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Banks

I used to work in a bank, but then I lost interest.
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Light Bulbs

How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.
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Bars

I was out drinking in a bar last night and a woodworm asked me: "Is the bar tender here?
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Cars

This car is protected by Smith and Wesson
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Chauffeur

Overheard to a chauffeur: 'James, I'm now ninety and rather bored with life, so I want to commit suicide. Kindly drive over the next cliff.'
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Women Drivers

Wife (learning how to drive): "I don't know what to do next."
Husband: "Just imagine that I'm driving the car, dear."
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Rabbits

What do you get if you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
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Kidding

"Hello, this is Dave. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.
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Doctors

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!

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