McTavish arrived at the gates of Heaven and demanded that he be admitted.
"Where are you from?" asked St Peter.
"Scotland," said McTavish proudly.
"Away with you," said St Peter. "We couldn't possibly cook haggis for just one!"
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Teachers
Teacher: What is the name given to the small rivers that flow into the river Nile?
William: The Juve-Niles?
Scientists
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Waiters
'Waiter! There's a fly in my wine!'
'Well, you did ask for something with a
little body, sir.'
Termites
Termites are boring
The Sun
Q: On what side of a building does the sun always shine?
A: The outside.
Kettles
What is another name for a water otter?
A kettle.
Birds
What kind of bird is always on its knees?
A bird of prey.
Fortune Tellers
Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball!
Squirrels
Why do sqirrels always 'live happily ever afterwards'?
Because they have furry tail ends.