Joke Topic - 'Hands'

What kind of pets like to lay around the house all day?
Car-pets!

Why did Count Dracula visit his doctor?
Because he was always coffin.

Everyone has to believe in something
I believe I'll have another beer.

If music be the food of love, I need re-tuning

Which insects are the most loyal?
Ticks. Once they find a friend, they stick to them.

I call my dog Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

Why did the calendar cross the road?
Because his days were numbered.

He really surprised her on her birthday.
He remembered it.

How do you learn to be a judge?
Usually by trial and error.