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Joke Topic - 'Husband'


Here are 10 jokes on the topic - 'Husband'.

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A husband and wife went to see a marriage guidance counselor.
"This is the problem," the husband said. "We've been married ten years. For the last eight, we haven't been able to agree on anything."
The counselor looked at the Wife. "Is that correct?” he asked.
"Definitely not," she answered. "We haven't been able to agree on anything for the last nine years."
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Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgement than women.
Wife: You're right. You married me and I married you.
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I wouldn't say that my husband is thin, but when he wears a red necktie he looks like a thermometer.
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Janet: My husband talks in his sleep.
Mary: Why not take him to the doctor?
Janet: Are you kidding? It's the only time he talks to me.
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Janice: Today is my fourth wedding anniversary.
Anne: So you and Robert have been married four years?
Janice: No. Robert's my fourth husband.
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Maid: Your husband's locked up for the night, ma'am.
Mistress: Fine, but I didn't hear him come in.
Maid: He didn't. The police just phoned.
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The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but every morning I pass your house on my way to work, and couldn't help noticing that every day you hit your husband on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right."
"Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake."
"Well, today is his birthday."
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This woman went to the doctor. She said, 'Doctor, my husband thinks he's a cat.'
The doctor said, 'How do you know that?'
She said, 'Well every night, when I go to bed, there's this horrible howling outside the window.'
The doctor said, 'Yes, but are you sure that that's your husband?'
She said, 'Well a cat wouldn't use language like that.'
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Wife: One more word from you and I will leave you and go back to my mother.
Husband: Taxi!
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Wife: To think that I had to marry you to find out just how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have realised that when I asked you to marry me.

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