Joke Topic - 'Lawyers' - 8

What do you call an honest lawyer?
An impossibility.

What do you call an honest lawyer?
Hypothetical.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
The tick stops draining you and drops off after you're dead.

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?
Lawsuits.

What should you do if you find three lawyers buried up to their neck in cement?
Run and find some more cement!

What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.

What's a good example of a missed opportunity?
A bus-load of lawyers going over a cliff with one empty seat.