Joke Topic - 'Mean'

Where can a husband always find sympathy?
In the dictionary.

What did the ghost say to his wife when he came home?
Hello, boo-tiful!

What did one firefly say to the other one?
Got to glow now.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys TWO cases of beer.

Doctor, doctor, I think I've gone a funny color.
Nonsense, it's just a pigment of your imagination.

I think, therefore I'm not an MP.

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Owl aboard!

Why was the daddy pig angry with his piglets?
They called him an old boar.