Joke Topic - 'Mother-in-law'

'Do you know, my mother-in-law has vanished, just disappeared from home. Just like that.'
'Have you given her description to the police?'
'No, they'd never believe me.'

'I just bought my mother-in-law a Jaguar.' 'Cor - I thought you didn't like her.' 'I know what I'm doing, it's bitten her twice already.'

'Oh, Nigel, I hear you buried you mother-in-law last week.' 'Had to... she was dead.'

A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.
Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets DOUBLE."
First wish: "I would like one billion dollars."
Genie: "Ok but mom get's two billion."
Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mom get's two islands."
Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who got married, and at the wedding reception, toasted his mother-in-law?

Every Christmas I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.

I gave my mother-in-law a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. She went and lost it.

I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap.

My mother-in-law told me that she has a good complexion because she puts lemon juice on her face every morning.
But, perhaps that is why her face always looks so sour.

The shortest distance between two points is the route a man takes when driving his mother-in-law home.