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Joke Topic - 'Motorists'


Here are 6 jokes on the topic - 'Motorists'.

Related Topics: Cars (31) Car Drivers (2) Motorist (2)
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A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman.
'So what?' said the motorist.
'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer.
''I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the, back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'
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Magistrate: 'But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn't you give her half the road?'
Motorist: 'I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.'
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Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'
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Traffic policeman: 'Didn't you hear me shout to you to pull over?'
Motorist: 'I'm awfully sorry. I thought you said "Good morning, Chief Constable." '
Traffic policeman: 'That's all right, sir. I just wanted to warn you that the traffic's pretty bad up ahead.'
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Twelve year old's essay on 'what would you do to try and encourage motorists to show more consideration for others?': 'I would drive a police car.'
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What did the shy traffic light say to the motorist?
Don't look now - I'm changing!


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Waiters

Waiter, Waiter.
There's a fly in my soup.
Don't worry sir, they don't drink much.
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Scarf

What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead and I'll just hang around.
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Scotsman

Did you hear about the Scotsman who invited a young woman back to his room to see his etchings?
He sold her three of them.
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Cats

What do you call a cat who likes to eat lemons?
A sourpuss!
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Recovered

Did you hear about the man who fell into a upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.
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Boring

I was going to tell you a joke about an electric drill, but it's too boring.
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Horn

Honk your horn if you hate noise pollution.
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Sheep

Where do sheep buy their Christmas presents?
They go to Wool-mart!
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Computers

Unix - Reach out and grep someone.

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