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Joke Topic - 'Policeman'


Here are 8 jokes on the topic - 'Policeman'.

Related Topics: Police (28) Detectives (2) Policemen (7) Sherlock Holmes (7) Cops (3)
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A policeman pulls over an old man driving on the freeway and said "Mister, did you know your wife fell out of the car half a mile back?"
The old man said, "Thank god for that, for a moment there, I thought I was going deaf!"
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A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence.
'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.'
'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.'
'Lady, I don't care who you know, your still going to get a ticket.'
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A young lady was driving through a built-up area at about 70 mph when she noticed a motorcycle policeman on her tail. She increased her speed to 80 mph but the cop hung grimly on her tail. She put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90, drawing rapidly away from her pursuer. Suddenly she saw a garage up ahead and with a squeal of brakes she pulled up in the forecourt and dashed into the ladies' toilet. Five minutes later she emerged to find the motor-cycle policeman waiting for her. With a sweet smile she said, 'I bet you thought I'd never make it in time.'
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My brother was up in court last week. The judge said, 'What is this man charged with?' The policeman said, 'He opened a shop sir.'
The judge said, 'And what is wrong with opening a shop?'
The policeman said, 'Well it wasn't his shop sir.'
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Policeman: 'When I saw you coming round that bend I thought, "Forty-five at least".'
Woman motorist: 'Well, I always look older in this hat.'
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The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" The cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
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What did the policeman say to his belly-button?
You're under a vest.
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What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman?
A brush with the law.

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