The psychiatrist was surprised to see a tortoise come into his office.
"What can I do for you?" asked the psychiatrist?"
"I'm terribly shy," said the tortoise, "I want you to cure me of that".
"No problem. I'll soon have you out of your shell."
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
The Titanic
What do you call a girl with the Titanic on her head?
Mandy lifeboats.
Love
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yule.
Yule who?
Yule never know just how much I love you.
Cars
This car is protected by Smith and Wesson
Piano
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
Santa Claus
Why must Santa Claus be a man?
Because no woman is going to be seen wearing the same outfit year after year!
Job
What do you call a man who is able to complete a job in just 30 seconds?
Arthur Minute.
Football
Football is only a game - until your team loses.
Drink
I drink to forget - but I've forgotten why.
A Bad Stomach
I've got a bad stomach.
Well just keep your coat on and on one will notice.