Joke Topic - 'Rivers'

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"I'm not surprised, sir, our chef used to be a tailor."

When Henry VIII came to the throne what was the first thing he did?
He sat down.

He's a magician. He can turn absolutely anything into an argument.

I heard something this morning that really made me open my eyes.
What was it?
My alarm clock.

What do you call a snowman in the summertime?
A puddle!

Yo momma so fat she can sit on a dollar and make change.

When her boyfriend actually agrees with her, she lets him have his own way.

Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!