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Joke Topic - 'The Lottery'


Here are 4 jokes on the topic - 'The Lottery'.

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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!"
His wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
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Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water our chances of winning the lottery?
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McDougal bought two tickets for the lottery. He won five million pounds.
"How do you feel about your big win?" asked a newspaper reporter.
"Disappointed," said McDougal, "My other ticket didn't win anything."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Magician

He's a magician. He can turn absolutely anything into an argument.
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Kangaroos

What animal likes a leap year?
A kangaroo.
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Snakes

What do you call a snake who is employed by the government?
A civil serpent.
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Farmers

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?
He wanted sweet and sour pork.
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Insurance

Study Reveals That People Without Insurance Die More Often
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Money

Passer-by: What are you digging for?
Workman: Money.
Passer-by: And when do you expect to get it?
Workman: Pay-day.
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Wives

Joe: Your wife is pretty old.
Bob: Thank you. She was even prettier when she was younger.
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Drunk

Ossifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
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Exits

Exits are on the way out

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