Joke Topic - 'Toothpaste'

Experts Are Sure The Dow Will Either Rise Or Decline

My accountant told me that the only reason why my business is looking up is that it's flat on its back.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pablo.
Pablo who?
Pablo the candles out.

What is the difference between a corpse and a musician?
One composes and the other decomposes.

Ted: My birthday is coming soon. Do you know what I need?
Tim: Yes, I know what you need, but how do you gift wrap a life?

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Amanda.
Amanda who?
Amanda doctor's orders at the moment.

The most sadistic Christmas present I ever heard of was a down-payment on a Rolls-Royce. (think about it)

Did you hear about the sunburnt shark?
He got what he was basking for.

Coincide: What you do when it starts to rain!