Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - T / Joke Topic - Traffic Cops - 1

Joke Topic - 'Traffic Cops'


Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Traffic Cops'.

$text4

A traffic cop flagged down a motorist and said, 'I'm arresting you for going through three red lights.'
'Yeah, well, I'm colour blind,' said the motorist.
'In addition to that, you were exceeding the speed limit,' said the policeman.
'So what?' said the motorist.
'And on top of all that you were going the wrong way down a one-way street,' added the officer.
''I always did have a lousy sense of direction,' said the motorist with a smile.
At that point, his wife leaned forward from the, back seat and said, 'Don't pay any attention to him, officer. He always talks like this when he's had a few drinks.'
$text4

A traffic cop pulls a car driver over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are a little bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really angry at this and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
$text4

Traffic Cop: Lady, you're under arrest for speeding.
Lady Driver: I wasn't speeding officer, though I did just pass a few men drivers who were. You should arrest them.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

$text4

Books

How many books can you put on an empty shelf?
One. After that it isn't empty.
$text4

Lawyers

What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
$text4

Girlfriends

My new girlfriend has lovely long brown hair all down her back. It's just a shame that she doen't have any on her head.
$text4

Waiters

Waiter, waiter, what do you recommend for my lunch?
For you sir, I would recommend a diet.
$text4

Bird

Why was the bird wearing a wig?
Because it was a bald eagle.
$text4

Friends

What do you call a man and woman who keep showing you up in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!
$text4

Professors

Old Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
$text4

Smiling

Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to.
$text4

Cannonball

My brother said, 'I want a job as a human cannonball.'
I said, 'I'll bet you get fired.'

This is page 1 of 1