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Joke Topic - 'Train'


Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Train'.

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How do you find a missing railway train?
Follow its tracks.
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Three scots and three englishmen are traveling by train to a football match. At the station, the three englishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three scots buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three Englanders.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the Scotsmen.
They all board the train. The Englishmen take their respective seats but all three scotsmen cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The English saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Englishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed Englishman.
"Watch and you'll see," says one of the Scotsmen. When they board the train the three Scots cram into a toilet and the three Englishmen cram into another one nearby.
The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Scots leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Englishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
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What do you call a train loaded with toffee?
A chew chew train.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Leopards

Why is it difficult for leopards to hide?
Because they're always spotted.
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Not Yourself

You're not yourself today. I noticed the great improvement at once.
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Witches

My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'
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Doctors

Patient: Doctor, I keep seeing double.
Doctor: Please sit on the couch.
Patient: Which one?
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Musicians

What do you call a musician who's girlfriend has just dumped him?
Homeless.
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Elephants

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they would look really silly carrying suitcases.
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Doctors

DOCTOR" The pain in your right leg is caused by old age.
OLD MAN : But my left leg is the same age and that doesn't hurt.
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Cows

Did you hear what happened when the cows refused to be milked?
There was udder chaos.
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Punk Rockers

How many PUNK ROCKERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to kick the chair out from under him.

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