A little withered old man walks into a timber company office, and applies for a job as a lumberjack. The foreman politely tries to talk him out of the idea. After all, he is old, small, and looks much too weak to fell trees.
The old man picks up an axe and walks over to a huge redwood. As he goes to work, a high-pitched whine comes from the axe, chips of wood fly everwhere, and the odor of burning wood fills the air. In record time, the old man has finished chopping down the tree.
"That's just astounding,"the foreman says, "wherever did you learn to chop down trees like that?"
"Well now," the old man smiles, "have you ever heard of the Sahara Forest?"
"You mean the Sahara Desert."
"Sure, that's what it's called NOW..."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ross.
Ross who?
Ross beef and Yorkshire pudding.
Christmas
What do you call someone who claps their hands when the contestants in a Christmas quiz show get the right answer?
Santapplause.
Genie
Why did the genie in the lamp get angry?
Because someone rubbed him up the wrong way!
Hired
Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.
Faithful
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Oakham.
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful!
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, this coffee tastes like tea.'
'oh, I'm sorry, sir. I must have brought you cocoa by mistake.'
Crawling
They call him Caterpillar.
Why do they call him that?
Because he got where he is by crawling.
Christmas Party
How did the chickens dance at their Christmas party? Chick to chick.
Pizza
Did you hear the joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.