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Joke Topic - 'Umpire'


Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Umpire'.

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And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.
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What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts going bad?
He gets a job as an umpire.
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When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Mother

Rose: My mother wants me married so badly.
Maria: Why do you say that?
Cindy: Every time I bring a guy home she measures him for a tuxedo.
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Rob

Why did the man did the man try to rob the baker shop?
He wanted to steal the dough.
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Sausages

What do you call a stolen pork sausage?
The missing link.
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Revenge

How do you get your revenge on a doctor?
Give him a taste of his own medicine.
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Friends

What do you call a man and woman who keep showing you up in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!
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Witches

My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'
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Doctors

George: "Do you know what Dr Williams's specializes in?"
Tom: Yeah, he diagnoses wallets."
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Eagles

Why did the eagle sit on top the church spire?
It was a bird of pray.
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Graduates

Q: What do you say to an Arts graduate with a job?
A: I'll have a hamburger please.

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