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Joke Topic - 'Umpire'

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Umpire'.


And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.

What does a baseball player do when his eyesight starts going bad?
He gets a job as an umpire.

When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



Rose: My mother wants me married so badly.
Maria: Why do you say that?
Cindy: Every time I bring a guy home she measures him for a tuxedo.


Why did the man did the man try to rob the baker shop?
He wanted to steal the dough.


What do you call a stolen pork sausage?
The missing link.


How do you get your revenge on a doctor?
Give him a taste of his own medicine.


What do you call a man and woman who keep showing you up in front of your friends?
Mum and Dad!


My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'


George: "Do you know what Dr Williams's specializes in?"
Tom: Yeah, he diagnoses wallets."


Why did the eagle sit on top the church spire?
It was a bird of pray.


Q: What do you say to an Arts graduate with a job?
A: I'll have a hamburger please.

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