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Joke Topic - 'Whisky'

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Whisky'.


A guy runs in a bar and he asks the bartender for 24 shots of his finest whisky. When the bartender has poured the shots the guy drinks them down as fast as possible. The bartender says "wow I've never seen anyone drink that fast before" and the guy says "You would to if you had what I had" and the bartender says "What is it you have?" And the guy says "25 cents" and runs out of the bar.

Did you hear that yesterday all the men in Glasgow were standing outside holding an empty whisky glass?
The weather forecast said that there was going to be a nip in the air.

It was Hamish's birthday and to celebrate he offered his friend, Hector, a really tiny glass of whisky.
"There you are Hector. That's a 15-year-old malt whisky."
"ls it now?" said Hector looking at the minuscule measure. "It's very small for its age!"

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Windows: Just another pane in the glass.


A politician has to be able to see both sides of an issue, so he can get around it.

Traffic Lights

What did the shy traffic light say to the motorist?
Don't look now - I'm changing!

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there!
Ben Hur who?
Ben Hur for over an hour - let me in!


Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it!


Teacher: Take this sentence: "I don't have no fun at the weekend." How should I correct this?
Pupil: Perhaps you could try and find a boyfriend.


What is a hairdressers favourite Christmas carol?
"Oh comb all ye faithful".


Man: "Little girl, I'm looking for a small black and white dog with only one eye."
Little Girl: "If he's small, perhaps you should use both eyes."


Hostess: They tell me you love good music.
Guest: Yes, I do. But never mind, keep right on playing.

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