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Joke Topic - 'Widow'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Widow'.

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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
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When Big Peter McFlannel dies in Glasgow, his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once, so she goes to the newspaper and says "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"
The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"
The old woman replies "5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok".
So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads "Peter McFlannel, fae Parkheid, deid".
The clerk feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hands the paper over the counter again.
The clerk then reads, "Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Absentmindedness

There are two things I dislike in a person -
Absentmindedness and... I can't remember the other one.
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Unwilling

We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
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Vampires

What sport do vampires like to watch?
Bat-minton.
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Ghosts

What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo!
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Alcohol

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
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Florida

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fortification.
Fortification who?
Fortification, we're going to Florida.
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A Car Mechanic

Did you hear what happened when a car mechanic went to see a psychiatrist?
He lay down under the couch.
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Ducks

Where does a duck go when he gets sick?
The ductor.
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Dangerous

What is yellow, hot and highly dangerous?
Shark-infested custard.

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