Here are some randomly selected joke topics beginning with the letter 'U'
UFO
What do you get if you cross a baby with a ufo?
An unidentified crying object.
Ugly
What is big, green, and ugly and never smiles?
The Incredible Sulk.
Ugly
My last girlfriend was so ugly, that when she worked in a pet store people kept asking
how big she would get ...
Umpire
And why couldn't the loutish baseball umpire have his little boy sit in his
lap?
Because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.
Ugly
My physchiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him "If you don't mind I'd like a second opion. "He said "Alright .. you're ugly too."
Ugly
I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap.
Unable
What has a big mouth, but is unable to talk?
A glass jar.
Umpire
When is an baseball umpire like a telephone operator?
When he makes a call.
Umbrella
Why does Santa need to carry a big umbrella with him?
Because of all the rain-deer.