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Jokes About Doctors - Page 10


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about doctors.


This is page 10 of 10. Showing jokes 91 to 99


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'Doctor, :doctor, I think I must be invisible. Everyone ignores me.'
'Next, please.'

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DOCTOR" The pain in your right leg is caused by old age.
OLD MAN : But my left leg is the same age and that doesn't hurt.

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Last summer a doctor and his family were at the beach having a good time. All of a sudden the doctor spotted a dorsal fin sticking out of the water and fainted. When he came to, his wife said, "You have to be less paranoid, dear. That was only a shark. Stop imagining that there are lawyers every- where."

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This man went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor, my nose runs and my feet smell.'
The doctor said, 'You're built upside down.'

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This woman went to the doctor. She said, 'Doctor, my husband thinks he's a cat.'
The doctor said, 'How do you know that?' She said, 'Well every night, when I go to bed, there's this horrible howling outside the window.'
The doctor said, 'Yes, but are you sure that that's your husband?'
She said, 'Well a cat wouldn't use language like that.'

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The doctor said to this chap, 'I'm afraid you've only got five minutes left to live.'
The chap said, 'Doctor that's terrible. What can you do for me?'
The doctor said, 'I'll boil you an egg if you like.'

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My dad went to the doctor. He said, 'I think I'm an elastic band.'
The doctor said, 'Stretch yourself out on the couch.'

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Doctor to Patient: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: The good news, please.
Doctor: The good news is that you have only twentyfour hours to live.
Patient: If that's the good news, what's the bad news?
Doctor: I should have told you yesterday.

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Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing pink elephants.
Have you seen a psychiatrist?
No - only pink elephants.


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