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Jokes About Doctors - Page 3

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about doctors.

This is page 3 of 10. Showing jokes 21 to 30

An accountant is having trouble getting to sleep at night so he goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend the next three hours trying to find it."

Patient: Doctor, doctor I keep thinking that I can see into the future.
Doctor: And when did this happen?
Patient: Next Wednesday.

Patient: Doctor, I feel very ill. I think that I ate too many oysters last night.
Doctor: Were the oysters fresh?
Patient: I don't know if they were fresh or not?
Doctor: Well, what did they look like when you opened them?
Patient: You mean you have to open them?

Patient: Doctor, you must help me I keep thinking that I'm a crossword puzzle.
Doctor: Is it getting you down?

Doctor: How did you get here so quickly?
Patient: Flu.

Patient: This morning I was walking across a field and was trampled by some cows.
Doctor: So I herd.

Doctor, doctor. I think that I'm turning into a baby cat.
I think you're just kitten me.

Doctor, doctor, I've got a little sty.
Well you'd better buy a little pig for it then.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread.
Doctor: You've need to stop loafing around.

Doctor: Have you ever had this problem before?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, you've got it again!

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