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Jokes About Doctors - Page 9


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about doctors.


This is page 9 of 10.


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Patient: 'Doctor, why did the receptionist rush out of the room screaming?'
Doctor: 'When she asked you to strip to the waist ready for my examination she meant you to strip from the neck down, not from the toes up!'

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Patient: 'Doctor, my wooden leg keeps giving me the most awful pain.'
Doctor: 'Don't be ridiculous! How can a wooden leg give you pain?'
Patient: 'My wife keeps hitting me on the head with it.'

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DOCTOR: Well, Mr Jones, I can't find anything wrong with you. It must be the drink.
MR JONES: Okay, Doctor, I'll come back in the morning when you're sober.

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'Doctor, doctor, little Jimmy has a saucepan stuck on his head. Whatever shall I do?'
'Don't worry, you can borrow one of mine. I'm going out for dinner."

Submitted by: Alice Jones

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'Doctor, doctor, I keep stealing things. Can you give me something for it?'
'Try these pills. And if they don't work, bring me back a DVD player."

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'Doctor, :doctor, I think I must be invisible. Everyone ignores me.'
'Next, please.'

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DOCTOR" The pain in your right leg is caused by old age.
OLD MAN : But my left leg is the same age and that doesn't hurt.

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Last summer a doctor and his family were at the beach having a good time. All of a sudden the doctor spotted a dorsal fin sticking out of the water and fainted. When he came to, his wife said, "You have to be less paranoid, dear. That was only a shark. Stop imagining that there are lawyers every- where."

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This man went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor, my nose runs and my feet smell.'
The doctor said, 'You're built upside down.'

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This woman went to the doctor. She said, 'Doctor, my husband thinks he's a cat.'
The doctor said, 'How do you know that?' She said, 'Well every night, when I go to bed, there's this horrible howling outside the window.'
The doctor said, 'Yes, but are you sure that that's your husband?'
She said, 'Well a cat wouldn't use language like that.'


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