Home / Jokes About Girlfriends - Page 1

Jokes About Girlfriends - Page 1

Here is our selection of jokes and funny stories about girlfriends. There are 35 jokes in this category.

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While he was away on business, Brian thought it would be a good idea to buy a present for his girlfriend. "How about a bottle of perfume?" he asks the cosmetics assistant in a department store. She shows him a sixty-dollar bottle.
"That's a bit too expensive," says Tim, so she returns with a smaller bottle for thirty dollars. "That's still too expensive," Brian complains. Growing annoyed, the assistant shows him a tiny fifteen-dollar bottle.
'What I mean,' said Tim, 'is I'd like to see something really cheap."
So the clerk handed him a mirror.

Submitted by: Sandy

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I'm always talking about Batman.
What a joker she is.

Billy: My girlfriend has what is known as a sympathetic face.
John: What do you mean?
Billy: When people see her face they feel sympathetic.

Bob: I call my girlfriend Sugar.
Joe: Why is that?
Bob: Because she's so refined.

Submitted by: JB

Fred: My girlfriend spends hours in front of the mirror admiring her beauty. Do you think that's vanity?
George: No, it's just imagination.

Joe: My girlfriend uses lemon juice for her complexion.
Bob: Maybe that's why she always looks so sour-faced.

Last night my girlfriend said that I am a great wit.
Well, she's half right.

What did the artist say to his girlfriend?
"I love you with all my art."

My girlfriend is just like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.

George: My girlfriend has a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin has the glow of a peach, her cheeks are like apples and her lips like cherries.
Fred: Sounds more like a fruit salad to me.

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