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Jokes About Lawyers - Page 4


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about lawyers and the legal profession.


This is page 4 of 8.


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An airliner was having engine trouble and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and prepare for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except for the lawyer who is still passing out business cards."

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There was the cartoon showing two farmers fighting over the ownership of a cow. One was pulling the cow by the tail the other was pulling on the horns.
Underneath was a lawyer milking the cow.

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Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"

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Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?
You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.

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What do you call an honest lawyer?
An impossibility.

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Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To get to the car accident on the other side.


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