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Jokes About Lawyers - Page 8

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about lawyers and the legal profession.

This is page 8 of 8. Showing jokes 71 to 74

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?"
The housewife replies: "Four!".
The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
A: No one cries when you slice up a lawyer.

Last year a group of terrorists hijacked a planeload of lawyers. They said that they'd release one every hour unless their demands were met.

Once upon a time there was a snake and a rabbit that bumped into each other in the woods. Both were blind. The snake started feeling the rabbit's fur and said, 'You are nice and soft, so you must be a rabbit.' Then the rabbit started feeling the snake and said, 'And you are cold and slithery. You must be a lawyer.'

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