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Jokes About Marriage - Page 10


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.

This is page 10 of 12. Showing jokes 91 to 100

Jokes About Marriage
Mommy, mommy, why is daddy running?
Shut up, kid, and hand me another box of shotgun shells.
Jokes About Marriage
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror, taking a long hard look at herself.
"You know dear", she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive, to make me feel better about myself."
He studies hard for a moment, thinking about it, and says in a soft, thoughtful voice. "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
Services for the husband will be held Saturday morning at 10:30, at Saint Elmo's memorial Chapel.
Submitted by: John Porcello
Jokes About Marriage
Mr Green: My wife's one in a million.
Mr Brown: Really? I thought she was won in a raffle.
Jokes About Marriage
Mrs Smith: Don't you think that man over there is the ugliest person you've ever seen?
Mrs Jones: Thats my husband.
Mrs Smith: Oh dear, I'm so sorry.
Mrs Jones: You're sorry. . .
Jokes About Marriage
cheer up!" said Alan to his depressed friend, John. "Why don't you drown your sorrows?"
John, a married man with three strapping daughters at home, turned a doleful face towards him and said:
"No man, that would be murder."
Jokes About Marriage
A man's on his deathbed with his wife sitting near him. He says "Dear wife, I must confess certain things to you before I die." She says, "Hush now, husband, you're fading fast."
He says, "But this is really important, I must tell you so I can die with a clear conscience! I slept with your best friend, your sister, and your mother!"
She says, "I know, that's why I poisoned you."
Submitted by: Stevan Hogg
Jokes About Marriage
Hotel Porter: "May I carry your bag sir?"
Hotel Guest: "No that won't be necessary, my wife is perfectly capable of walking."
Jokes About Marriage
"Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence."
Jokes About Marriage
Don't marry for money...You can borrow it cheaper.
Jokes About Marriage
Last weekend my credit card was stolen but I decided not to report it because the thief is spending less than my wife does.

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