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Jokes For Children - 13


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories for children.
This is page 13 of 28.


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Q: How does a male octopus ask a female octopus to marry him?
A: Can I have your hand, your hand, your hand, your hand ...

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These gangsters came to our house and my sister answered the door. They said to her, 'Kid, is your mum in?'
My Sister said, 'No, she ain't.'
They said, 'Kid, is your dad in?'
My sister said, 'No, he ain't.'
They said, 'Ah, come on kid, where's your grammar?'
My sister said, 'In the front room asleep.'

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My sister said to her friend, 'Do you like worms?'
Her friend said, 'No, they're 'orrible things.'
My sister said, 'Why did you just eat one in your sandwich then?'

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My sister got me into trouble the other day.
She said, Mum, he's broken my dolly.'
My mum said, 'How did that happen?'
My sister said, 'Well I was hitting him on the head with it, and it broke.'

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My uncle said, 'My cat got first prize in the budgie show.'
I said, 'That's impossible. Cats don't get prizes in budgie shows.'
My uncle said, 'No, a budgie got the prize and my cat ate the budgie.'

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This cannibal caught a missionary in the jungle. He said to him, 'What's the best way to eat you? Boiled or roasted?'
The missionary said, 'To tell you the truth, I'm a friar.'

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This man was called up before the judge. He said, 'Your honour, why do you keep leaping up and down?'
The judge said, 'Why do you think? It's a kangaroo court.'

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My uncle said, 'I saw this film about these cows who took over a ship, and they cast the captain adrift in an open boat.'
I said, 'That's amazing. What was the film called?'
My uncle said, 'Moo-tiny on the Bounty.

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What did they say to King Harold at the battle of Hastings?
Cor! Get an eyeful of those arrows!

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What do spotty people go riding in?
Acne carriages.


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