Jokes For Children - 15

Did you hear about the bird that lived underground?
He was a mynah bird.

My uncle came in white as a sheet. He said, 'I've just seen a ghost. Make me a stiff drink.'
I said, 'Alright, I'll put some starch in the coffee.'

'Did you hear about the dog who went to a flea circus?'
'No, what happened?'
'He stole the show.'

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor you'll never believe this but last week I went glass blowing and instead of blowing out I breathed in.'
The doctor said, 'Don't tell me, you've got a pane in your stomach.'

This aborigine came running up to his mum. He said, 'Mum, my brother's been hit on the head by his boomerang.'
His mum said, 'The naughty boy! 1 told him to throw that boomerang away.'
The kid said, 'He did, but it came back.'

I used to hate my brother when we were kids. One year my mum said, 'Do you know it's his birthday tomorrow?'
I said, 'Thanks for telling me I'll give him my whooping cough.'

The other day my dad leapt eight feet in the air. I said, 'Dad, I didn't know you were a high-jumper.'
He said, 'I'm not. Your mum dropped the iron on my foot.'

This butler came running into the master's room. He said, 'Sir there's a ghost outside in the corridor. What shall I do?'
The master said, 'Tell him I can't see him.

This vicar said, 'I like graveyards. They're never deserted.'
The sexton said, 'Really Father, why's that?'
The vicar said, 'Well there's always some body there.'

This antique dealer was trying to sell a man a skull. He said, 'It's Oliver Cromwell's skull you know.'
The man said, 'It can't be, it's not big enough.'
The dealer said, 'It's Cromwell's skull when he was a little boy.'