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Jokes For Children - 18


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories for children.
This is page 18 of 28.


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My mum went rushing to the doctor in a panic. She said, 'Doctor my little girl's swallowed my pen.'
The doctor said,' 'Don't worry you can borrow mine.'

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My dad said, 'My leg, my leg, it's agony.' My mum said, 'That's entirely due to old age.'
My dad said, 'Well my other leg's just as old and that doesn't hurt.'

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My mum was in hospital, and the doctor said, 'Listen, I want you to drink a Guinness after your bath every day.'
My mum said, 'If I drink my bath I won't have room for a Guinness.'

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My brother read a book about Davy Crockett.
He said, 'Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?'
I said, 'No, I didn't.'
He said, 'Well he did you know. He had a right ear, a left ear and a wild frontear.'

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There were these two cannibals having their tea. One said to the other, 'I don't like your friend.'
The other one said, 'Well put him to one side and just eat the greens.'

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My brother said, 'I'm going to become a forger. I'm going to make some big money.'
I said, 'Don't make it too big or someone'll notice.'

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My brother said, 'I've just been reading a book about Samson. He was an amazing comedian.',br> I said, 'Was he really?'
My brother said, 'Yes, he brought the house down.'

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My brother said, 'I want a job as a human cannonball.'
I said, 'I'll bet you get fired.'

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My uncle said to me, 'Ants have got amazing brains.'
I said, 'Have they?'
He said, 'Yes. Have you noticed how they always know when you're having a picnic.'

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My sister came running in from the kitchen. She said, 'Dad, there's a black cat out there.',br> My dad said, 'So what? Black cats are lucky.'
My sister said, 'This one is. It's just eaten your lunch.'


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