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Jokes For Children - 19


Here are more of our jokes and funny stories for children.
This is page 19 of 28.


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Did you hear about the steamroller driver who ran over a biscuit?
He said, 'Crumbs.'

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My uncle said, 'The RSPCA are going to closedown my fish and chip shop.'
I said, 'Why's that?'
He said, 'They think I'm battering the fish.'

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There were these two elephants arguing over who should go in the swimming pool first. I said, 'Why don't you both go in at the same time?'
They said, 'We can't. We've only got one pair of trunks between us.'

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My dad went down the churchyard. He said to the vicar, 'Would you like me to put some locks on the cemetery gates?'
The vicar said, 'There's no point. The ghosts have all got skeleton keys.'

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My mum got on this speaking weighing machine. She said, 'Right, what do l weigh?'
The weighing machine said, 'One at a time please!'

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'Do you know what they said the night the Forth Bridge fell down?'
'No, what did they say the night the Forth Bridge fell down?'
'That's a pity. We'll have to build a fifth!'

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Hear about the polar bear who tried to eat a penguin?
He couldn't get the wrapper off.

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Hear about the famous inventors who failed to invent the aeroplane?
They were the Wrong Brothers.

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Hear about the pilot who bailed out?
He said, 'Bi-plane.'

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My uncle said, 'How do you make a baby poisonous snake cry?'
I said, 'I don't know. How do you make a baby poisonous snake cry?'
He said, 'Take away his rattle.'


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