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Medical Jokes - Page 1

Here is our selection of jokes and funny stories about the medical profession. There are 12 jokes in this category.
medical humor

This is page 1 of 2. Showing jokes 1 to 10

Do you suffer from Dan Druff?
Well, just tell him to go away and leave you alone.
What blood type are pessimists?
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a famous medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be in ten years time?"
"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon so I guess that I'll be on the golf course by now.
Which famous Dutch painter always had a very bad cold?
Vincent Van Cough.
Last night I was going to kill myself by swallowing a handful of asprins - but after taking the first two I felt much better.
scalpel.....sutures......clamp......ooopss......pen.......death certificate....
Medical definition: Barium. What you do if CPR fails.
Medical definition: Dilate. To live too long.
My friend just fell in love with the head nurse at the hospital where he is - I guess you can say that he's taken a turn for the nurse!

Submitted by: Brian
John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.
Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then a man came in coughing and he asked John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post.
Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired.
"He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once," John explained.
"Ex-Lax won't cure a cough" Bob shouted angrily.
"Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough."

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