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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 11

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.

This is page 11 of 18.

"Do you think what we're doing is wrong?"
"Of course it's wrong! It's illegal!"
"I've never done anything illegal before."
"I thought you said you were an accountant!"

Submitted by: Jacky
Two snowmen standing in a field one turns to the other and says "can you smell carrots??".

Submitted by: Stacer
A new porter at a Paris hotel was instructed by the manager that it was important to call the guests by their names in order to make them feel welcome, and that the easiest way to find out their name was to look at their luggage. Armed with this advice, the porter took two guests up to their rooms, put down their bags and said, "I hope you 'ave a very 'appy stay 'ere in Paris, Mr and Mrs Genuine Cow'ide."
A train in India was going very, very slowly, and a group of American tourists were growing increasingly impatient. Finally, when it stopped for about the hundredth time, one of the tourists got out, walked to the front of the train, and asked the train-driver, 'can't you go any faster?'
'Oh, yes sir' replied the driver, 'but I've not allowed to leave the train.'
People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito.
Lead me not into temptation -- I can find it for myself.
Support bacteria - It's the only culture some people have!
There are two things I dislike in a person -
Absentmindedness and... I can't remember the other one.
Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a dial tone.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

Submitted by: David L

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