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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 14

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.

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'Do these stairs take you to the second floor?'
'No. I'm afraid you have to walk.'
There was once an Indian Chief whose name was Shortcake. He lived with his wife Squaw high up in the mountains. Sadly, one day Shortcake died and a very sympathetic Indian asked Squaw what she was going to do with him. She answered mournfully: 'Squaw bury Shortcake.'

Submitted by: John
There was a rascal who managed to get engaged to two women at the same time: one named Edith, in California, and the other named Kate, in texas. Unfortunately for the rascal, the two girls met at a beauty contest, discovered the truth, and confronted him with the following admonition: "You can't have your Kate and Edith, too."
Will: How much will it cost to take me to the train station?
Taxi driver: Five dollars, sir.
Will: How much will you charge to take my suitcase?
Taxi driver: There's no charge for the suitcase.
WIll: In that case, take the suitcase and I'll walk.
Jack: Dack says he's related to you, and he can prove it.
Mack: Dack's a fool.
Jack: Well, yes, but that could be a coincidence.
A lad of 12 was a dedicated stamp collector until the kid next door bought an album also. "He buys every stamp I do," the kid complained to his father, "and had taken all the fun of it away." "Don't be a fool, my boy," said pop. "Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of philately."
Bob had been out diving off the Florida Keys for days looking for sunken treasure, but had had no luck. One day, while wading back onto the beach, he tripped over a chest filled with diamonds, rubies, and emeralds! Bob was heard to say as he carried the chest away, "Well it just goes to show you that booty is only shin deep!"
Hey everyone, I just saw a brand new Broadway show based on the dictionary ---------------- it was a play on words.
When Mary Poppins grew too old for the nanny business, she moved out to L.A., to open a fortune-telling shop and mouth-wash store. She hung a sign out her window upon opening, which said:
The Abbot of the Monastery was very strict in his routine. Each morning, he'd come out of his cell, go into the main room where all the monks were sitting, and chant "Good Morning." They would chant back "Good Morning." At the evening meal, he'd enter the room and sing "Good Evening," and they would reply in kind. One morning, though, in response to his greeting, he distinctly heard one monk sing "Good Evening." Wondering if his ears were going, he sang "Good Morning," only to hear the anomalous greeting again. Looking about the room, he sang "Someone Chanted 'Evening.'"

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