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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 15

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.

This is page 15 of 19. Showing jokes 141 to 150

Will: How much will it cost to take me to the train station?
Taxi driver: Five dollars, sir.
Will: How much will you charge to take my suitcase?
Taxi driver: There's no charge for the suitcase.
WIll: In that case, take the suitcase and I'll walk.
Jack: Dack says he's related to you, and he can prove it.
Mack: Dack's a fool.
Jack: Well, yes, but that could be a coincidence.
A lad of 12 was a dedicated stamp collector until the kid next door bought an album also. "He buys every stamp I do," the kid complained to his father, "and had taken all the fun of it away." "Don't be a fool, my boy," said pop. "Remember, imitation is the sincerest form of philately."
Bob had been out diving off the Florida Keys for days looking for sunken treasure, but had had no luck. One day, while wading back onto the beach, he tripped over a chest filled with diamonds, rubies, and emeralds! Bob was heard to say as he carried the chest away, "Well it just goes to show you that booty is only shin deep!"
Hey everyone, I just saw a brand new Broadway show based on the dictionary ---------------- it was a play on words.
When Mary Poppins grew too old for the nanny business, she moved out to L.A., to open a fortune-telling shop and mouth-wash store. She hung a sign out her window upon opening, which said:
The Abbot of the Monastery was very strict in his routine. Each morning, he'd come out of his cell, go into the main room where all the monks were sitting, and chant "Good Morning." They would chant back "Good Morning." At the evening meal, he'd enter the room and sing "Good Evening," and they would reply in kind. One morning, though, in response to his greeting, he distinctly heard one monk sing "Good Evening." Wondering if his ears were going, he sang "Good Morning," only to hear the anomalous greeting again. Looking about the room, he sang "Someone Chanted 'Evening.'"
A man was shipwrecked on a desert island. He built himself a grass and straw shelter and all was OK until a flock of Terns flew onto the island. The terns started pecking at his shelter, weakening it. This would not do, so the usually gentle man started throwing stones at the terns till all flew away save one. Well, the man figured that one tern could do no harm, so he didn't bother to chase it away. The last tern kept pecking at the shelter, till it fell in upon the sleeping man ,smothering him.
What is the moral of this story??? Never leave a tern unstoned!!!
I used to be a lumberjack, but then I got the axe.
I used to work in a bank, but then I lost interest.

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