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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 8

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.

This is page 8 of 19. Showing jokes 71 to 80

All the red Indians in the Reserve were starving. They ask the Witch Doctor to perform a Rain Dance, to see what the future held. The Witch Doctor dances about, mumbling and looking at the heavens above.
Suddenly he gives out a scream, and falls to the ground. What did you see, asked the Chief?
I had a vision, a hazy vision replied the Witch Doctor. Over many hills I saw a huge Bacon Tree, big enough to feed the whole tribe. What good is that says the Chief, if we leave the Reservation the Soldiers will follow and punish us. If we go at night, they will not know until it is too late replied the Witch Doctor. OK agrees the Chief and that night they sneaked out of camp.
They walked over hill upon hill, food and water were gone, and many died on this venture. Finally the Chief has had enough. How far is this Bacon Tree he asks. Just over one more hill is the reply. At last they climb the last hill, and start going down the other side. Suddenly there is the sound of the bugle charge, and Cavalry swoop down killing most of the Indians.
As the Chief lies dying, he crawls over to the dying Witch Doctor and gasps "What happened to your Bacon Tree" to which the Witch Doctor replies, "I was wrong it was a HAM BUSH."
'Hi Bob, Where have you been?'
'The cemetery.'
'Oh! Who's dead?'
'They all are.'
Dad, there's someone at the door collecting for the old folks home. Shall I give him grandma?
How do we know that Rome was built at night?
Because all the books say it wasn't built in a day!
There was 3 men on a plane, a Scotsman, an Irish man and a Chinese man. They was flying over Ireland and the Irish man said I see Ireland, and then they flew over Scotland and the Scotsman said I see Scotland. Then they was going through a storm and the Chinese man went to the cafeteria in the back and he dropped a plate on the floor and said I see china.

Submitted by: Sam
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
Those three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow". The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet". The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"!!
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
To err is human, to moo bovine.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

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