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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 1

Here is our selection of jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.

This is page 1 of 18.

Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
This is a day for final decisions!
Or is it?
Why be difficult, when with a little bit more effort you can be completely impossible?
The future isn't what it used to be.
Why are vampires not very intelligent?
Because blood is thicker than water.
After taxiing down the runway, the airliner suddenly stopped, then turned around and returned to the gate. About an hour later it finally took off. A worried passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was very concerned about the noise one of the engines was making," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find another pilot."
Where does the gardener like to play snooker?
In the potting shed.
Fred: Can you lend me a dollar please?
Joe: I'm sorry but I can't do that.
Fred: Why not?
Joe: Because I don't believe in passing the buck.

Submitted by: TJ
Do you feel like a glass of orange juice?
Why? Do I look like one?
Where can you dance in California?
San Frandisco.

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