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Office Humor - Page 5


Here is more of our office humor.


This is page 5 of 7. Showing jokes 41 to 50


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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young programmer, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The programmer said, "In the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The programmer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
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Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.
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Q: What do you say to an Arts graduate with a job?
A: I'll have a hamburger please.
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The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.
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You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
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THE BOSS'S BASIC RULES

Rule 1: The Boss is always right!
Rule 2: In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, becomes immediately operative.
Rule 3: The boss does not sleep he rests.
Rule 4: The Boss is never late he is delayed elsewhere.
Rule 5: The Boss never leaves his work his attention is required elsewhere.
Rule 6: The Boss never reads the paper in his office he studies.
Rule 7: The Boss is always chief, even in his bathing togs.
Rule 8: Whomsoever may enter the boss's office with an idea of his own must leave the office with the boss's ideas.
Rule 9: If, in your lamentable ignorance, you fail to grasp the truth, fear not return to rule 1.
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Too few of the bucks stop here.
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If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
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Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.
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When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

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