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Office Humor - Page 5
Here is more of our office humor.
This is page 5 of 7. Showing jokes 41 to 50
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young programmer, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The programmer said, "In the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The programmer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
The programmer said, "In the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The programmer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."
Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.
Q: What do you say to an Arts graduate with a job?
A: I'll have a hamburger please.
A: I'll have a hamburger please.
The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.
You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
THE BOSS'S BASIC RULES
Rule 1: The Boss is always right!
Rule 2: In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, becomes immediately operative.
Rule 3: The boss does not sleep he rests.
Rule 4: The Boss is never late he is delayed elsewhere.
Rule 5: The Boss never leaves his work his attention is required elsewhere.
Rule 6: The Boss never reads the paper in his office he studies.
Rule 7: The Boss is always chief, even in his bathing togs.
Rule 8: Whomsoever may enter the boss's office with an idea of his own must leave the office with the boss's ideas.
Rule 9: If, in your lamentable ignorance, you fail to grasp the truth, fear not return to rule 1.
Rule 1: The Boss is always right!
Rule 2: In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, becomes immediately operative.
Rule 3: The boss does not sleep he rests.
Rule 4: The Boss is never late he is delayed elsewhere.
Rule 5: The Boss never leaves his work his attention is required elsewhere.
Rule 6: The Boss never reads the paper in his office he studies.
Rule 7: The Boss is always chief, even in his bathing togs.
Rule 8: Whomsoever may enter the boss's office with an idea of his own must leave the office with the boss's ideas.
Rule 9: If, in your lamentable ignorance, you fail to grasp the truth, fear not return to rule 1.
Too few of the bucks stop here.
If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
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