Random Jokes and Funny Stories

Yo' momma's so fat, when she needs a shower, she goes to a car wash!

Located in the Yo Mama section

Joe: I can trace my ancestors all the way back to Columbus.
Bud: Back to 1492?
Joe: No, to Ohio.

Located in the American section

Waiter, waiter, what do you recommend for my lunch?
For you sir, I would recommend a diet.

Located in the Restaurants Food section

A man went into a pet shop and asked the assistant if they had any dogs going cheap?
He replied, "Sorry sir all ours go woof."

Located in the Pets section

What rear-view mirror?

Located in the Bumper Stickers section

Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Adair.
Adair who?
Adair once but I'm completely bald now.

Located in the Knock Knock section

Why did King Arthur have a round table?
So no one could corner him.

Located in the British section

A man went to the Chamber of Commerce in a small town. Obviously distressed, he asked the man at the counter, 'Is there a criminal attorney in town?'
The man replied, 'Yes, but we can't prove it yet.'

Located in the Lawyers section

"Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! (your name here) can't come to the phone right now, because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera..."

Located in the Answering Machine Messages section