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Random Jokes and Funny Stories

 

These jokes and funny stories are selected at random from our jokes and funny stories database. Press "refresh" on your browser to see another random selection of jokes.

For Children

For Children

Highway man to traveller: Your money or your life!
Traveller: Take my life, I'm saving up.

Located in the For Children section

Computers

Computers

Why was the computer feeling cold?
It had left Windows open.

Located in the Computers section

Animals

Animals

A violinist was convinced that he could use his musical talent to tame wild animals. So, violin in hand, he travelled to the heart of the African jungle to prove it.
No sooner had he begun to play than the jungle clearing was filled with animals of all kinds gathering to hear him play. Birds, lions, hippos, elephants - all stood around, entranced by his beautiful music. Just then, a crocodile crept out of a nearby river and into the clearing, and - snap!- gobbled up the violinist.
The other animals were extremely angry. "What on earth did you do that for?" they demanded.
"Eh?" said the crocodile, cupping its hand to its ear.

Located in the Animals section

Scottish

Scottish

What did one highland cow say to the other one?
Och aye the moo.

Located in the Scottish section

For Children

For Children

What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.

Located in the For Children section

Change Light Bulb

Change Light Bulb

How many fashion designers does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they just mount a huge advertising campaign proclaiming that this year "dark" is in.

Located in the Change Light Bulb section

Blondes

Blondes

Q: Why didn't the Blonde have any ice cubes for her party?
A: She lost the recipe.

Located in the Blondes section

Did You Hear?

Did You Hear?

Did you hear about the guy who went bankrupt in the laundry business?
He said he was all washed up.

Located in the Did You Hear? section

Animals

Animals

A petrol attendent is filling a man's car, when he notices that a small penguin was sitting in the back seat. The attendant turns to the man and asks what the deal is with the penguin.
"Well" the man says. "I found the little guy a few weeks ago wandering around looking sad. I've been going crazy thinking of things I can do for him."
"There's a zoo just down the road," replies the attendant. "Why don't you take him there".
The man thanks the attendant, pays, and drives off to the zoo.
A few days later the man pulls up to the petrol station and again is met by the attendant who notices that the penguin is still in the back of the car.
"I thought you were taking him to the zoo" asks the attendant.
"I did thanks" answers the man. "He loved it, so I'm taking him to the beach today".

Located in the Animals section

Submitted by : Johnny Harrold 



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