Random Jokes and Funny Stories

You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

Located in the Answering Machine Messages section

Don't vote - it only encourages them.

Located in the Politicians section

Why was the maths book looking so sad?
Because it had so many problems.

Located in the Why Was? section

Brian: (eating his lunch at school)Teacher, I've got a bone stuck in my throat.
Teacher: Are you choking?
Brian: No, I'm serious.

Located in the For Children section

Did you hear about the kidnapping?
He woke up.

Located in the Did You Hear? section

On a clear disk you can seek forever.

Located in the Computers section

Where does a cat go when he loses his tail?
To a retail store.

Located in the Animals section

What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman?
A brush with the law.

Located in the What Do? section

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday.

Located in the For Children section