Random Jokes and Funny Stories

There were these two strings walking down the road when they came to a bar. They decided to stop in and have a few drinks. So they sat down at a table and noticed that they were not going to be served. So the first string said that he would go up to the bar and get a couple of beers.
First string: Hey bartender, how about a couple of beers.
Bar tender: Sorry, but we don't serve strings here.
So the first string returned to the table and informed the second string of the problem. The second string said "no problem, I'll take care of this." So the second string stood up, Frazzeled his ends a bit and tied himself into a knot. He then walked up to the bar.. Second string: Hey bartender, how about a couple of beers.
Bar tender: Hey, aren't you a string?
Second string: I'm a frayed knot... they got the beers...

Located in the Bar section

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.

Located in the Psychiatrists section

How do you murder a blonde?
Put spikes on her shoulder pads.

Located in the Blondes section

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.

Located in the Christmas section

What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A Macaw.

Located in the Scottish section

Submitted by : JJ 

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tilly.
Tilly who?
Tilly cows come home.

Located in the Knock Knock section

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Darrel.
Darrel who?
Darrel never be another you.

Located in the Knock Knock section

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

Located in the American section

Where can you dance in California?
San Frandisco.

Located in the Miscellaneous section