Random Jokes and Funny Stories

Passer-by: What are you digging for?
Workman: Money.
Passer-by: And when do you expect to get it?
Workman: Pay-day.

Located in the Miscellaneous section

What type of socks does a gardener like to wear when he is working?
Garden hose.

Located in the British section

Why could you say that a fish and chip shop is like a cricket team?
Because they both need a good batter.

Located in the Sports section

"Matrimony isn't a word, it's a sentence."

Located in the Marriage section

There was an English man a Irish man and a Scottish man. They went to a funfair and they all wanted to go on a magic slide. So when they got there, the man said whatever you say going down the slide you will land in, so the English man went down and said Gold. Then the Scottish man went down and said Silver, then the irish man went down but wasn't listening so went down and said weeeeeeee and landed in a pot of wee!!! Ha ha Ha Boom Boom

Located in the For Children section

Submitted by : Rosie,Emzie and Dannie 

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Located in the Bumper Stickers section

What dog sweats the most and drinks a lot of water?
A hot-weiler!

Located in the Animals section

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
About half way.

Located in the British section

I'm watching my drinking, so now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls.

Located in the Bar section