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Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 3

Here is more of our humorous Scottish jokes and funny stories about Scotland and the Scots.
Jokes about the Scots

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How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Scotsmen don't change light bulbs, it's cheaper to sit in the dark.
How did the little Scottie dog feel when he saw the Loch Ness monster?
Hey, Noah, do you want a drink?
Noah don't.
What if you cross a legendary Scottish monster and a bad egg?
The Loch Ness pongster.
What is the name of a Scottish cloak room attendant?
Willie Angus McCoatup.
What is the name of the unhappy range of mountains in Scotland?
The Grumpians.
Did you hear about the Scotsman who washed his kilt?
He couldn't do a fling with it.
A Scotsman wanted to impress his girlfriend so he took her for a ride in a taxi. The trouble was, she was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eyes on the meter.
An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went into a bar. The Englishman stood a round of drinks, the Irishman stood a round of drinks and the Scotsman stood around.
How do you know if a Scotsman is left-handed?
He keeps all his money in his right-hand pocket.

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