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Scottish Jokes and Humour - Page 3


Here is more of our humorous Scottish jokes and funny stories about Scotland and the Scots.
Jokes about the Scots


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Hey, Noah, do you want a drink?
Noah don't.
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What if you cross a legendary Scottish monster and a bad egg?
The Loch Ness pongster.
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What is the name of a Scottish cloak room attendant?
Willie Angus McCoatup.
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What is the name of the unhappy range of mountains in Scotland?
The Grumpians.
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Did you hear about the Scotsman who washed his kilt?
He couldn't do a fling with it.
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A Scotsman wanted to impress his girlfriend so he took her for a ride in a taxi. The trouble was, she was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eyes on the meter.
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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went into a bar. The Englishman stood a round of drinks, the Irishman stood a round of drinks and the Scotsman stood around.
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How do you know if a Scotsman is left-handed?
He keeps all his money in his right-hand pocket.
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Hamish was building a garden shed and he ran out of nails so he went to the hardware store to buy some more.
"How long do you want them?" asked the storekeeper.
"Oh, I need to keep them," replied Hamish.
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Why do pipers like to march as they play the bagpipes?
A moving target is harder to hit.

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