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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 12


This is page 12 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Saturday, January 26th, 2019 to Friday, February 1st, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Friday, February 1st, 2019

A cheese sandwich goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry: we don't serve food here."

The Joke of the day for Thursday, January 31st, 2019

What do fir trees do when they are sad?
They pine a lot.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, January 30th, 2019

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ammonia.
Ammonia who?
Ammonia a little boy.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, January 29th, 2019

A man went to the police station demanding to speak with the burglar who had broken into his home the previous night.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, you don't understand," said the man. "I just want to ask him how he got into the house in the middle of the night without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

The Joke of the day for Monday, January 28th, 2019

I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my mother-in-law.
Did you have it put down?
No, of course not - I had its teeth sharpened.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, January 27th, 2019

What do you use when a tree gets a puncture?
A lumberjack.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, January 26th, 2019

What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall?
The nightmayor.

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