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The Joke of the Day Archive - Page 12

This is page 12 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Tuesday, September 17th, 2019 to Monday, September 23rd, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Monday, September 23rd, 2019

Did you hear about the idiot who thought that the Cote d'Azur was a blue jacket?

The Joke of the day for Sunday, September 22nd, 2019

1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
3. You get winded playing chess.
4. You look forward to a dull evening.
5. You turn out the light for economic rather then romantic reasons.
6. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
7. Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
8. Dialing long distance wears you out.
9. Your back goes out more than you do.
10. You sink youe teeth into a steak and they stay there.
11. A fortune teller offers to read your face.
12. You got too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
13. Your children look middle aged.
14. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, September 21st, 2019

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a mountain.
Well you do look a little peaky.

The Joke of the day for Friday, September 20th, 2019

Lady Customer: Can I try on that dress in the window?
Assistant: If you really want to, but I think it would be better if you tried it on in the changing room.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, September 19th, 2019

Why did Karl Marx drink instant tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, September 18th, 2019

What do the guests do at a cannibal wedding?
They toast the bride and groom.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, September 17th, 2019

Did you hear about the man who was convicted of stealing luggage from the airport?
He asked for twenty other cases to be taken into consideration.

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