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'The Joke of the Day' Archive - Page 2


This is page 2 of our 'The Joke of the Day' archive and it covers from Saturday, April 6th, 2019 to Friday, April 12th, 2019.

The Joke of the day for Friday, April 12th, 2019

A man and a giraffe walked into a bar. The man asked for a drink and one for the giraffe. They drank it and had another one, then another and another. The man got up and went to walk out, the giraffe tried to follow and fell over. The bar man said don't leave that lying round here and the man said, it's not a lion, its a giraffe.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, April 11th, 2019

Customer: I want to buy a mattress for a bed.
Assistant: A spring mattress, sir?
Customer: Well, actually I want to use it all year round.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, April 10th, 2019

What do you get if you cross an orange with a comedian?
You get peels of laughter.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, April 9th, 2019

This butler came running into the master's room. He said, 'Sir there's a ghost outside in the corridor. What shall I do?'
The master said, 'Tell him I can't see him.

The Joke of the day for Monday, April 8th, 2019

My uncle said, 'The RSPCA are going to closedown my fish and chip shop.'
I said, 'Why's that?'
He said, 'They think I'm battering the fish.'

The Joke of the day for Sunday, April 7th, 2019

Did you hear about the two men who were caught stealing a calendar.
The judge gave them six months each!

The Joke of the day for Saturday, April 6th, 2019

My uncle said, 'I saw this film about these cows who took over a ship, and they cast the captain adrift in an open boat.'
I said, 'That's amazing. What was the film called?'
My uncle said, 'Moo-tiny on the Bounty.

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